Three Day Trial

by Graham Jong-Il

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My computer's a little slow tonight.
Other men would grimace at the sight
of me seeing someone my age
getting what I want, but they don't want to.
Giving up his love, he doesn't like you.
I can't help but feel I'm being lied to.
I can't help but feel I'm being lied to.

The air is cold,
but I know I'll get warmer in time.
I've long been sold,
but I've yet to buy the three day trial;
but he still gives service with a smile.
They keep your preferences on file.

Satisfaction or your money back;
Piss-broke Russian does what you ask;
There's no too difficult a task to please you.
Fake it with someone lonelier than I:
We can't but at least we can say we tried.
You're good enough to find someone
who means it but you don't believe it.
For now we'll keep the cat inside.

You act as the image of my
hate and my aspiration,
as I want to destroy this You,
this object of my creation.
As I want what I cannot be
my want inverts to rivalry.
I desire my Ideal
so come and stroke my super-ego.

There's something sombre in the defilement of self;
If I said you weren't involved somehow I'd be a liar.
With this act I pledge to thee, in sickness and in health,
a lasting guilt to counter misguided desire.

But in the freezing dead of night,
my eyes - they fill with Light.

As I reach the point from which what's done can't be undone,
This moment of Death makes me feel God and I are one.

After this so-called Divine Intervention I lay
here and dread the coming mundane agony of day.
I can't miss what I never had,
people say.


released July 16, 2013




Graham Jong-Il Dublin, Ireland

Ukulele eroticist.

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